Self-destructive behaviour

We all hold ourselves back at times, but some people repeatedly act in ways that harm themselves.

Though it may seem surprising that anyone would hinder or sabotage their own wellbeing, the truth is that many people live with underlying psychological drives to do just that. We are all products of our life experiences and sometimes those experiences create drives to hold us back or hurt ourselves.

Addiction is one example of behaviour that damages people’s lives, but not all self-destructive behaviour falls under the umbrella of addiction. 

Common self-destructive behaviours include:

  • drug or alcohol misuse
  • risky or unprotected sex
  • uncontrolled gambling
  • cutting, burning, hair pulling
  • overuse of porn
  • chronic procrastination
  • unhealthy or disordered eating
  • overspending or going into debt
  • avoiding responsibility
  • ending or destroying personal relationships
  • sabotaging career or work
  • having affairs or pushing partners away

Why are people self-destructive?

There are many reasons people can act in self-destructive ways. They may be in so much pain that they want to numb it with substances. They may hate their body so much that they feel driven to damage it. They may feel like such a fraud at work that they sabotage their job before they can be found out. They may long for intimacy so much that they seek out sex where it feels like intimacy but may not be safe.

Sometimes, self-destructive behaviour originates from coping strategies. Self-coping mechanisms that were needed and effective in the past may have gotten out of control and now do more harm than good. It’s sometimes hard to recognise when a coping mechanism has gone past its expiry date and is no longer helping.

Often, people recognise their own self-destructive behaviour but feel unable to change it. The psychological drives behind the behaviour are so strong that people can feel powerless in the face of them.

Moving beyond self-destructive behaviour is possible.

Our clients have reported great results!

Mr K
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“I was attending sessions at One Therapy practice for about 1 1/2 years. I am very happy with the result, sessions there really helped me. I am really grateful to my therapist. Someone recommended him to me as a high professional and it proved right, thank you.”
Mrs M
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“I can only provide positive comments on my sessions with (my therapist). This was my first experience with a therapist, and she managed to make me feel comfortable. And I must say that the sessions were helpful and efficient.”
Mrs E
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“My therapist was extremely helpful, considerate and understanding. I felt she properly understood what the issues I had were, and their underlying causes, and I feel I benefited considerably from the sessions with her.”
Mrs N
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“I immediately felt completely at ease as they were very professional while showing genuine care and interest in helping me. I was able to confront many issues which I had so far chosen to ignore despite their negative effects on my personal relationships and happiness. I would have no hesitation in recommending (One Therapy) to anyone looking to improve their relationships and self-esteem.”
Mrs L
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“I learned a lot about myself and about the relationships I make with other people. I was able to see where I was going wrong and I now make better personal choices. Thank you, again.”
Mrs R
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“I can’t thank you enough for the help and support I got from my appointments. I would highly recommend therapy to anyone now. Therapy helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. Please tell (my therapist) how grateful I am for her help.”

Understanding self-destructive behaviour is the first step in getting it under control

Therapy for self-destructive behaviour seeks to understand the underlying causes of the problematic behaviour. The history, patterns and triggers of the self-destructive behaviour will be considered. It can also be useful to understand the purpose of negative behaviour patterns: Why am I doing this to myself? What part of me am I trying to destroy? Why does this behaviour feel outside of my control?

We have seen many clients with all types of self-destructive behaviour. If you would like to make a first appointment to speak with a therapist about any worrying behaviour, please contact us or book online. 

Learn how to put an end to your self-destructive behaviour and create the life you want

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Counselling for individuals

Personal counselling can be about anything that is on your mind.

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Couples counselling

Couples counselling provides space for couples to discuss problems in their relationship and find solutions.

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Our therapists

We have over 30 qualified and experienced therapists to choose from.

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One Therapy London

Counselling, psychotherapy, couples counselling in London since 2006

Gregory Hamlin - Therapist
Gregory Hamlin

Gregory is a psychodynamic therapist offering both short-term and long -term therapy to individuals He appreciates how difficult it can be to seek help and therefore places great importance on creating a warm, empathic and safe space for clients to explore whatever is on their minds Gregory helps individuals uncover and understand the underlying patterns that shape...

Oxford Circus

Paula Broome - Therapist
Paula Broome

Paula is a popular integrative therapist who understands that the client-therapist alliance is paramount Providing a place of safety and empowerment, she supports clients living with anxiety and depression, and has extensive training in neurodivergence and disability, including supporting clients with long-term health conditions As well as her private practice, Paula...

Oxford Circus

Aaron McGuinness - Therapist
Aaron McGuinness

Aaron offers a psychodynamic approach to psychotherapy which emphasises the unconscious mind and its influence on clients’ behaviour It often involves exploring past experiences and their impact on present-day thoughts and feelings Aaron creates a safe and supportive environment where clients can express themselves freely without fear of judgment Aaron is open to...

Oxford Circus

Kensington

Lara Vasey

Lara is an integrative therapist who offers short- and longer-term therapy to individuals Starting therapy can feel daunting, but Lara’s warm demeanour helps her clients feel more comfortable She creates a confidential and non-judgemental environment, which enables her clients to open up about their thoughts, feelings and experiences With empathy and curiosity, her...

Kensington

Jayne Levy - Therapist
Jayne Levy

Jayne has a gentle and empathic approach, allowing clients to feel comfortable and relaxed as they begin therapy She offers a non-judgmental and confidential space where clients are safe to express their feelings and thoughts and explore some of the difficulties and challenges they may be experiencing As a humanistic integrative therapist, Jayne is guided by her...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Toulla Nicolaides
Toulla Nicolaides

Toulla is an integrative relational therapist using a combination of therapeutic approaches to help her clients She provides a safe and supportive environment for individuals to explore their difficulties in life, relationships and childhood and to share and resolve confusing and overwhelming feelings Toulla believes that, though challenging, therapy can help clients...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Antonella Bonetti
Antonella Bonetti

Antonella is a psychodynamic therapist offering short- and long-term therapy to adults She also sees couples facing issues within their relationship Since obtaining her Master’s degree in Psychodynamic Counselling and Psychotherapy, Antonella has worked in different organisational settings (charities, NHS and university counselling services) helping people from...

Bloomsbury

Kensington

Therapist Natasha Maidment
Natasha Maidment

Natasha is a person–centred counsellor and psychotherapist who will provide you with a safe, empathetic and non-judgemental space to explore any thoughts or concerns you wish to bring She works with a range of issues including anxiety, stress, critical thoughts, trauma, relationship issues, identity, depression, loss and low self-esteem Natasha offers a...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Yussef Ferguson
Yussef Ferguson

Yussef is a psychodynamic psychotherapist who offers both long and short term personal therapy to individuals He has experience of working with a diverse range of clients and can provide a warm, confidential space to explore and gain insight into any past or present personal difficulties and experiences Yussef works with issues such as anxiety, depression, loss,...

Oxford Circus

Therapist Asma Gharbi
Asma Gharbi

Asma offers psychodynamic, humanistic and integrative therapies to individuals and couples She tailors her approach to meet the needs and preferences of her clients She offers short and long term therapy Asma provides a non-judgemental space for her clients, where they can feel safe to explore their feelings, make sense of their experiences and forge deep lasting...

Oxford Circus

Kensington